FOMO, Gratitude and Kids!

Everyday on social media you scroll up to to see friends and even people you don't really know all appear to be having a great time. Maybe they are on holidays on a beautiful beach, or they just got their make-up done and look amazing, or maybe their children came first in a competition etc. etc. etc..... Whereas you are sitting at home after maybe spending the afternoon ironing or cleaning the house and start to wonder 'where am I going wrong?'.

Now just think for a second - as an adult, it can be a challenge to quieten that monkey in your brain - the one that tells you your life isn't as good as your friends or your neighbours - so can you imagine what this must be like for a teenager, whose brain hasn't fully developed, living in this 'insta' world?

As a mum to a pre-teen (who does NOT have a phone or on any social media), I got my first glimpse of the 'Fear of Missing Out' (FOMO) BIG emotion last week, where my daughter had to leave her friends (that she had just spent the weekend with) a little earlier, because I had to go back home to work...she was devastated...she really struggled to manage her emotions because she felt she was missing out on that extra hour of fun with her friends. Now I get that she would have preferred to be with them, rather than have to come home with me; however, what was apparent was that she had forgotten the most amazing weekend she had had with her friends, as she was so focused on what she was missing out on.

I have been working quite a lot with teenagers recently. They live in a very different world to the teen life I had. When I went home as a teen, I didn't know what my friends were up to, whether they were hanging out together or not - but this is not what our teens today experience - they know everything - it's all in the palm of their hand, they can see exactly what their friends are doing practically 24/7. This is quite a burden on them and one that MUST be managed.

This is where GRATITUDE is powerful. When you practice gratitude, and focus on what you do have rather than what you don't have, it has amazing results. You cannot be in a state of jealousy or envy at the same time as being grateful. It is not possible.

So after a week of seeing my pre-teen struggle with her emotions, from the BIG emotions that come from moving from a child into the pre-teen phase, and then her first real experience with the FOMO, I thought it was time to take some action, to coach her, to give her some life skills that she can really cultivate now and that may help her when she embarks on the pathway of the 'real' teen phase of her life. So what action did I take:

1) The first thing I did was spend some one-on-one time with her. I let her know that I am there for her and will always love her no matter what. We believe our children just automatically know this, but in reality they don't.

2) I booked the two of us into a Candlelit Restore and Renew Yoga practice. As a family, I often find myself rushing my daughters along. For example, to get to school, to get to an activity etc... and I find that they are always looking to see what are we doing next. So I wanted to show my daughter that it is good to slow down, to quieten the monkey in the brain and to just be, just be still, be that both in the mind and the body. I could see her a little fidgety at the start of the practice; however, by the end, she had managed to still her body and hopefully her mind. She absolutely loved it and so did I.

3) I coached her in practicing gratitude. One often finds ourselves focused on what we don't have or didn't get, and we forget to focus on all we have. So she has started a gratitude journal (she has given me permission to share with you a picture of her gratitude journal) and before she goes to sleep every night she now writes down 3 things she is grateful for that day. She loves doing this activity, as it reminds her of all the great aspects of her life and it really puts her in a great state of mind before sleep.

You see, there will always be people out there that appear to be doing more fun stuff than we are, there will always be things we would like to do or have, but can't; however, if we focus on what we are not getting to do or have - then that is all we see - it becomes our reality - and we miss out on all the amazing fun things we experience everyday in our life.

So encourage your child to remember all the great aspects of their life - to practice GRATITUDE. It could be the best life skill you give them to manage the world that is ahead of them.

Have a great Monday!

Sharon x

Gratitude Journal entry of a pre-teen